Head South Pt. 1

I've always wanted to get this down on paper before I forgot it all. I warn that it is long, and probably not as enjoyable for you as it is me. It was suggested I write it in parts, and I am taking this advice. The story is about the spring break of my sophomore year in college. A road trip that took me and three friends from Wisconsin to New Orleans and back. The friends that accompanied me, were Bremner, Gus, and the unfortunate lone woman, Nicole.

This was the first long road trip for some of us, and being young, poor, and consequently cheap, we knew we were not going to be completely comfortable the whole time, if at all. Bremner, whom if you have never met, is a large and slightly intense man. Not intense like angry, but he can be affectionately and accurately described as a "man of extremes." An illustration might help me explain. One winter in Wisconsin I got into his car on a particularly cold night. He (naturally) had the heat turned on maximum. Since I was dressed appropriately for sub-zero weather, I began to sweat within one minute of leaving his driveway. I told him that the heat was on way too high and I was uncomfortable. His solution was not to turn down the heat to a reasonable level, but to roll down all the windows and let the frozen air engulf us instead. Another illustration might be more appropriate for this story as it pertains to our predeparture shopping trip.

Knowing we would be in the van for a good sixteen hours on our way to our first stop in Tennessee, we tried to think ahead as to what might cut down on stops for food along the way. While the rest of us stocked up on appropriate foods for a road trip: granola bars, crackers and other filling foods, Bremner came to the checkout with a case of canned tuna and a can opener. The fact it was impossible to safely open and drain a can of tuna in a speeding van was lost on him, as was the fact there was no fucking way the rest of us would put up with the smell of tuna fish for hours. I suggested he consider how ridiculous his purchase was. He refused to back down. "Dude, this could last me the whole trip and it only costs like eight dollars." As I predicted, that case of tuna never left the back of Gus' van. Having been friends with Bremner, nearly my whole life, I have actually grown tired of saying "I told you so." I do still try my best to help him find middle ground, no matter how futile my efforts are. After just five hours into the drive while he was rummaging for some of our more edible food, I felt I had to caution him for the long trip ahead. "Bremner slow down. We've only been on the road a few hours and you've already slept twice and now you're eating."