According to my mom's Facebook page, she "likes Bob Marley." Not surprisingly, I was a little caught off guard, seeing as though the mom I knew listened to bands like Electric Light Orchestra and The Bee Gees. I did a little more research and found that my mom, or as she calls herself on Facebook, "Debbie" likes all sorts of things like, YouTube, Bones, and not one, but two captains from the TV show Deadliest Catch.
I'll say it, I don't really care for Debbie. With all her opinions, and comments, I much preferred the woman formerly known as mom. I'm not saying I was never embarrassed by her before, I certainly was, but now she's answering all sorts of questions like "What's your favorite picnic salad?" With answers like "pasta salad" and I'm all like, Duh, I already knew that. Why are you posting this on Facebook?
I know what you're thinking, she's not telling you Aaron. She's telling her friends. And that's just it, she doesn't have friends. Before she went around shouting from the rooftops how much she likes One Tree Hill, she was a mom. And like any other mom, she liked Oprah, and Montel Williams. She fell asleep watching David Letterman after eating a bowl of sunflower seeds. Bob Marley? Really mom? Next time we visit, should I bring a bong, or will you just fashion one out of an apple?
As Facebook continues to become overrun with parents, and we're forced to learn more about them, I can't help but think this is just how every other sci-fi movie starts. A naive, well intentioned group of idiots thinks it would be interesting to train a naturally inept population of apes to use advanced tools and technology. Inevitably, the apes turn against them.
Of course, I may be the only person still embarrassed by a parent. Still, I don't doubt for a second there will come a time when Facebook becomes the new MySpace. I only hope that when it comes time for the split, when the young abandon ship for a new mom-and-dad-free site, no one lets one of the old folks out of their cage at Facebook as an experiment. With exception of me. They should take me.
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